According to most, I am what you'd call a young mother. Actually, by Utah standards, its pretty average and even normal to be a mom by age 23. Still, I feel a sort of need to justify or explain myself and I'm not sure why. Maybe because I have friends my age who have chosen a different path and seem to think becoming a parent would somehow slow them down or hold them back from achieving their dreams and goals.
Here are some things I "gave up" to become a mom at 23. Or, rather, here are a few things one might choose instead of becoming a young parent:
1. A college degree. No, I do not have a bachelor's degree. I earned an Associate's of Science from a community college and am currently doing an online program through US Career Institute so that I can one day work from home. I changed my major 4 times in college. It took me longer than usual to decide what would make me happy for the rest of my life but I did eventually figure it out. And you know what that is? Being a mom.
2. Expensive and exotic vacations. Since being married, my hubby and I have taken a total of ONE vacation together. It was a road trip to Montana last summer when I was pregnant and it will forever be one of my fondest memories. We stayed at a bed a breakfast, slept in every day, ate awesome food, explored tons of nature, and took a billion pictures. Would it be fun to fly to Disneyland every 3 months? Yes. Would I love to go on a cruise? Of course. But those things are not necessary. I'd rather save up and take my kids on vacations that we can all enjoy and that they will always remember.
3. A substantial savings account. It's no secret that children cost money. They go through hundreds of diapers, burn through formula, stain all of their clothes, and we're still trying to payoff hospital bills from our son's birth 5 months ago. My husband and I both work and we do everything we can to make ends meet, but it still doesn't leave a lot of extra cash at the end of the month. What's great is that we always have enough. We always have food and shelter and we're so happy. And that's enough for me.
4. A full time job/career. I've been blessed with a really great job, but I only work part time. I really like what I do for the first time...ever. And it's true, I could be making more money and would have advanced farther faster if I worked full time. But when it comes to choosing between a larger paycheck or time with my baby, its not a difficult decision for me. I wouldn't trade time with my son for a million dollars.
I'm not sure how this came across, and I'm too tired to go back and rework this entire post, but what I really want to say is that you can do all of these things and still have a family. Yes, it takes more work and sometimes more time, but don't think of having children as a setback. I don't feel like I've missed out on anything because I had a baby. Having a family is such a rewarding thing and raising children brings with it so much love and happiness. Choose what is best for you, but don't sell yourself short either. We were made to be families, and it is within families that we will find the most joy and fulfillment.
